The emo and the taco
by Ralneox
Summary: Stuff from my head. Includes a blind sasuke, naruto as a taco, half a zetsu and a confused audience. Rated for M for later on.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, this is ralneox and this is my first story. I only joined a few days ago but im a long time fan so i'm learning how to upload my stuff to fanfiction (i'll fix my grammer later). That means that this story is a result of too many coffee's after watching naruto on youtube and a couple of laps around the house pretending im a ninja running through a forrest. I probably wont continue this unless some one wants me to. If you do then you have problems. Problems i can satisfy! HOORAY! IM NEEDED! SCREW YOU SCHOOL, TAKE THIS! -throws pack of screws a school- ON WITH MAH STORY!**

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It was a dark, gloomy night. Sasuke was standing on the platform looking at the laser gun of prophecy with awe. Which is quite an achievement for a blind man. Standing there on the platform looking at exlaserbur, the legendary gun of "POWA!" as the followers to the Black Afro Ninja say. He reaches up towards the gun of "POWA!" dramatically slow to cause suspense for my audience (AN: I suck at writing yet I got an A+ for my English assignment). It was raining. Upwards because it was the 2nd Tuesday of the month. He grabs the gun of "POWA!" turns towards the sky, and like the legend he is, screams out "I AM AN EMO!" A nearby town heard his scream, "What was that?" asked the remaining half of zetsu, "Just sasuke" was the reply from naruto disguised as nearby taco. Well, by now you are wondering why Naruto is a taco, where is the other half of zetsu, why my writing so bad and how sasuke got to the legendary platform, floating in the sky, in the middle of the ocean (AN: Near a town somehow . . . ) "What, OFMG, not another fan fiction with a lame flashback-" "shut up sasuke!", anyway, here is how the story goes . . .

Sasuke was on his way to the uchiha compound to complain about having a ducks arse for a hair style. The compound smelt like a compost bin for some reason (AN: probably the senju, almost extinct my ass! Madara survived so why cant they when they practically won the war? Bloody tree growing pansies) but none the less it was beautiful and it was sasuke's birthday that day. And that doesn't come around very often due to the fact that his birthday comes every four years (AN: in my story he was born on the 29th of February). All his "friends" were visiting for his 3rd Birthday, especially his best friend, who had been in a terrible and permanent transformation jutsu incident when he tried to pass the gennin test (AN: somehow when iruka said hokage he thought taco), naruto the talking taco possessed by a 50 foot red fox with a genetic problem. It was going to be a costume party and he had the best costume a future emo could want EVA! When he got inside the compound, he saw naruto . . . In the SAME COSTUME AS HIM! "ONLY I CAN BE THE PRETTY PRINCESS" sasuke howled as he launched himself using the royal uchiha catapult at naruto. He hit naruto at such a frightening speed, he ripped a hole in the space-time continuuim, sending both sasuke and naruto into an alternate universe where there were towns on water, and floating islands with mystical weapons on them!

They landed on one of the said floating islands, galloping and doing algebra all the way there. When they landed, sasuke still hadn't forgotten about the costume incident, he started plotting against naruto in his mind "I will kill him, kill him I will, Kill him, kill him..." "Uh dude", said naruto "you're speaking out loud". "No I'm not." said sasuke. "Uh yes you are, I may be an idiot who can't tell when a stalker girl with white eyes likes me to the point that she would fight ginger ninja with god complexes but I'm not THAT stupid" said naruto. "What ever salsa breathe . . ." said sasuke, he starts to stare at naruto and he sees naruto turn into a person, "Ahh I'm hungry...". Naruto starts to freak out but comes up with a plan, "You can eat me if you can find the invisible wall that I have hidden on the islan-" "Found it!" said sasuke, thank god he got miming lessons from itachi! (AN: though he still wonders why itachi knew how to mime).

That's when naruto lost it "WHAT DA F$%K, that's un-f$%king fair, it's like there's a bored teenager with no imagination writing a frickin' story!" (AN: . . . no comment). Sasuke also went ballistic (AN: . . . heh-heh, BALListic . . .) and tried to take a bite out of naruto. But he missed and got his own eyes (AN: don't ask me how). Now that sasuke was blind, he focused his uchiha blood to his nose, sniffed out naruto, the lovely salsa smell in his nose, picked naruto up and threw him into a nearby town! Naruto landed near zetsu who was currently discussing the current economical situation concerning of fish and chips with his two halves. "We are running out of fish and chips!" said the black side. "That's ok, I have spare batteries in the car," the other side said before spontaneously combusting. "-I AM AN EMO!-" "What was that?" asked the remaining half of zetsu, "Just sasuke" was the reply from naruto.

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**AZZAH! -flip- I've confounded you! Did you enjoy? No? Well to bad i'm learning! -Stops at sudden realisation- OMG, i'm lernding, i was through with school! Oh no, school! I'll be sent to the looney bin if they catch me! To make thing worse they only put the looney bin out on wednesday! How am i going to remember that? Quick! Time for a tactical retreat! -runs away-**


	2. Chapter 2

Back to the President . . .

Sasuke had lost naruto and his virginity so he decided to look (AN: Sniff if you wana get technical) for them on a mystical floating island that just so happened to be nearby . . .

*Umpf* Sasuke had just jump and humped his way through the air to the next island. After reaching the island Sasuke decided to take a rest, there are only so many pelvic thrusts an uchiha can do a day. After having a quick break and a bat, he looked up and saw the mystical weapon on this floating island, a large black rubber fist device . . .

But Sasuke would not be fooled so easily . . . again. He then-

Audience: What about the weather? You haven't told us about the weather.

Author: Ah, ok. It was . . . nice. He then-

Audience: That's not very believable

Author: Fine. It was raining . . . no change that, it was raining ELSE WHERE! Not now, maybe later. But it must be raining in . . . uhh . . . London . . .?

Audience: . . . I could believe that.

Author: Ok. Sasuke then said-

Autho2r: The end!

Author: Who are you? Scratch that, the end is what I would say if sasuke didn't say-

Author2: If it wasn't raining! No wait, not rain! But hail!

Author: . . . Ok . . . Afterwards sasuke found himself on a platform in front of a weapon to help him wreak revenge on various diseased rodents.

Author2: What about the hail?

Author: SHUT UP! NO MORE WEATHER! THE WEATHER IS DEAD! SCREW OFF AUTHOR2!

Author2: But the hail . . .

Author: Sigh- excuse us

INTERMISSION!

_**Bashing noises**_

End of IMTERMISSION

Author2: Uhh, Dylan-I mean Ralneox. This story has sort of died, I mean look. You've been writing in the first person for a while and imagining that someone called author2 is interupting. And the plot already sucked and now it doesn't make any sense.

Author: What do you suggest I do then?

Author2: Let's start another story on the next posting!

Author: But it has such a good and thrilling story~line! Its my first story!

Author2: But it sucks. Oh no! Please don't say you've lost your imagination! NOO, what are these stories with out your . . . I'll just say, wonderful mind! Please start a new story on your next update!

Author: . . . Fine . . .


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